[grey_zealot's_zone]

“I.2”

FYI/TMI

No, I’m not a virgin. Thank God for the opportunities the U.S. Army offered me. Didn’t lose it until I was 24, though. 

I’m not handsome. Not good with people (although, I used to try and make friends; can’t say I trust people in general enough anymore to try). Never been physically attractive, and always had a hard time keeping my weight down, even when the army helped me keep me in the best shape of my life. Below average dick. Bad kisser.

Never been in a long-term relationship with a woman. 

Never been smart enough. Or creative enough, or assertive enough, or had the required aggressiveness or ambition to do everything Nature requires to make oneself wealthy, powerful, and Great in this mortal world. That’s unhelpful. 

I’ve also tried to be Good. “Humble & Kind.” Generous. Hard to do, when you’re not good with people, suspicious of people. 

Been observant as well, of other people and how they handle relationships. Seen friends cheat, and get cheated on. (Back when I had friends, that is.)

Tried to focus on work. Take meaning from work, be productive, contribute. Not sure how I’m doing anymore. I lost something at some point.

2002: gave up on dating.

2016: seems I’ve lucked into something. First date was on Valentine’s Day. Been taking it “old fashioned” since. She’s a great Lady. 

I don’t think I’m a good enough person to deserve what I hope is something long-term, deeper. 

Take it slow, be careful. 

Advertisements