Visited my Gramma last evening. It had been almost two weeks.
She slept, mostly. When she was awake, so briefly each time, she’d look at me, eyes bright, smile, try to say something. It was often unintelligible.
One time she tried to get up, suddenly speaking clearly, loudly, that she needed to make *me* dinner. (But, I think she thought I was Poppa, home from work.) Then, quickly faded back into a nap. Short while later, after her eyes pop open again, she looks around, sees me, smiles, then tells me she has to get to the bank, she has been there in awhile, to get some money out. I ask why. She’s pauses, then drifts back out again.
I wasn’t there that long last night, at the assisted living facility. She’d only recently come back to it, after another stint of recovery and physical therapy at a different facilty, just next door.
In and out of facilities. Been like that for several years now. For the first couple, we all had hope. Not sure what specifically we were hoping for. I guess mostly for a better qualty of life for Gramma, while trying lessen the stress and intenseness of “managing her decline.”
Hasn’t been easy. Definitely hasn’t been easy on Mom. We’ve all tried to assist Mom, Gramma’s most devout care-giver. Can’t speak for anyone else: I should have done more, am not sure what more I could have done, or what could be done.
Every mumble or twitch from Gramma last night as she napped, tried to figure out what she might be thinking or dreaming about. Would occasionally make out a familiar-sounding phrase. I think some were memories of family and friend get-togethers. One phrase, sounded like she was talking to Betty W., her travelling buddy, who passed on many years ago now.
I was only with Gramma a little more than a hour, after having not visited for almost two weeks. Even being with her, I was missing her.
Her soul is currently “trapped”, I think. Body’s failing. Exhaustion comes quickly, causes random access to memories as she dozes. Maybe in those glimpses into memory, she’s accessing her future, when she’ll rejoin departed loved ones within the Soul of God. Quality time with loved ones, among family and friends, happy, while waiting for the rest of us to arrive.
Edit: I hope today is a good day for her. She has enjoyed the company of others at the assisted living facility. Even if she has a hard time remembering names, I think she’s made a lot of friends.